HEALTH AND SAFETY AT WORK NOTICE
This room is a workplace:
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All people and cats entering this room must comply with the Health and Safety at Work Act 2015. I may be your mother, but I will report you to the Department of Labour if you do not comply.
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Please report to me upon entering the room. If I am not here: sign in using your finger/paw print on the condensation on the window. That is always a fun thing to do.
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Check, before entering, that I do not need a cup of tea, something to eat, or gin.
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Upon entering, go to the “how do you feel today” chart on the wall. Feel free to record your feelings by way of emoji rather than saying them out loud.
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If you take something away – then put it back (unless it is the rubbish). This is not health and safety but how many times do I have to tell you this?
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Avoid the bed base underneath the bed in the room – there has already been one workplace injury when a staff member went looking for the cat under the bed.
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If there is an accident and you are injured, tell someone else in the bubble cos I am busy right now. Record the event on the accidents’ register which is also a water-based recording system on the window – see bullet point 2 above.
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If I am on a zoom call – do not crawl into the room as you can be seen. This applies to the cat as well.
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NO BULLYING! Dad jokes and Dad dancing may be briefly tolerated during lockdown level 4.
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Due to COVID-19 – light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily switched off. Please use a torch in the meantime
Kathryn Dalziel
Barrister