This room is a workplace:

  • All people and cats entering this room must comply with the Health and Safety at Work Act 2015.  I may be your mother, but I will report you to the Department of Labour if you do not comply.

  • Please report to me upon entering the room.  If I am not here:  sign in using your finger/paw print on the condensation on the window.  That is always a fun thing to do. 

  • Check, before entering, that I do not need a cup of tea, something to eat, or gin.

  • Upon entering, go to the “how do you feel today” chart on the wall.  Feel free to record your feelings by way of emoji rather than saying them out loud.

  • If you take something away – then put it back (unless it is the rubbish).  This is not health and safety but how many times do I have to tell you this?

  • Avoid the bed base underneath the bed in the room – there has already been one workplace injury when a staff member went looking for the cat under the bed.

  • If there is an accident and you are injured, tell someone else in the bubble cos I am busy right now.  Record the event on the accidents’ register which is also a water-based recording system on the window – see bullet point 2 above.

  • If I am on a zoom call – do not crawl into the room as you can be seen. This applies to the cat as well.

  • NO BULLYING!  Dad jokes and Dad dancing may be briefly tolerated during lockdown level 4. 

  • Due to COVID-19 – light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily switched off. Please use a torch in the meantime


Kathryn Dalziel


(Disclaimer:  this notice does not replace full legal advice - use at your own risk)